Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did." (1 John 2:6 NLT)
This last week was "Spiritual Emphasis Week" here at Central Bible College, and sadly I was not spiritually prepared. The excitement I experienced the first two weeks of the semester had given way to routine, and my only goal was to get through classes and fall across my bed after lunch. I was dry, and what's worse, I didn't know it.
During chapel on Wednesday the Lord began to work on me. I suppose He had been working on me the whole week, but at least on Wednesday He broke through the walls of my stubborn heart. I felt the Joy of His Spirit as I sang worshiped him, more from my heart than my lips, and He met me where I stood. Jesus wrapped his arms around me, and in the rapture of the moment that old, familiar question rang in my spirit, "Why did I let myself forget this?" How could I? It's like forgetting to drink water, or eat food. What can cause a person to forget the source of his life, peace and joy? How could I go days and not miss it? I knew it was not because of ignorance, because I had been in God's presence many times before and experienced His goodness abundantly. It's not because of a lack of need, because the more time I spend with the Lord, the more I know I need Him. It's not due to lack of availability, because Christ has torn the veil separating the Father and His children, and I am always able to boldly approach the Throne of Grace. I could not think of anything, any reason that I should let something so good and so necessary as heart to heart time with my Creator slip from my priorities.
After I had sufficiently wallowed around in my own ignorance, the Holy Spirit spoke the answer to my heart. I had a pride problem. All of the sudden the lights came on. It was pride that kept me away from God. Pride that kept me in bed when I should have been talking to God. Pride that kept me focused on myself rather than on the will and plan of God. Pride was the weed that choked the Word of God in my life.
God brought me to 1 John 2:6, my life verse, and began to correct my priorities. I realized that instead of comparing myself to Jesus, like this verse commands, I had been comparing myself to others and to my own expectations. I had failed to pattern my life after Jesus, relying on myself to decide what was necessary for me and what was optional. In self-reliance I figured that I didn't really need to spend too much time in prayer and worship. I had become my own lord, and I failed to submit to Christ's example.
It is like someone who is physically exercising on a regular basis; the more active you are, the more nutrients you need. Someone who runs everyday has to drink lots of water and eat good meals or he will collapse. His body is screaming for water as he run; he must have a drink. But one doesn't need near as much nourishment to sit on the couch all day, and that person usually replaces healthy, necessary foods with junk food and soda.
As for me, I had been sitting on my spiritual couch, content with spiritual junk food instead of the Bread of Life. The Lord showed me this, and showed me a few ways to go about correcting the problem, but I have still not arrived. I still vastly over estimate the value of the things I see around me, and infinitely underestimate the value of my relationship with my Father. As it stands, I am still a work in progress, but my prayer is that the Lord would eradicate any trace of pride in my heart, and that by His grace I will stay off that spiritual couch and be out doing the will of God.
The important thing to remember is that when we forget to pattern our lives after Christ, we lose sight of what is truly necessary and replace it with our own weak substitute. It is only by comparing ourselves to Him that we realize just weak we are and how much grace we require to accomplish His mission. I pray we all feel the thirst for the presence of God, and learn to rely on Him for everything we need.
Grace and Peace in Christ,
~Stephen
